Dealing with disconnection from self.

I was talking with a friend the other day…

We were sharing our experience of how difficult it can be to tune into Intuition when SO much crap happens all at once in our lives, causing a sense of “disconnection from self”. Sometimes there is just life event after life event, and just when we think we have hit bottom, something else happens.

My friend was reflecting on how difficult it can be to make Intuitive decisions whilst feeling so worn down and depleted. He acknowledged that there was something he was missing in how he had been approaching things by way of ‘energy reflects energy’ but could not seem to bring himself to make an “energy shift” so that he could begin to turn things around for himself.

That night I was thinking about his experience and the times that I have felt discombobulated myself, and a visual representation came to me.

I saw myself crossing a river.

The river was symbolic of an event or an experience, and my slow steady steps were my knowing who I was within that experience. If I kept my “knowing of self” I could make it to the other side without getting caught up in the experience and swept away.

On the other hand, if I forgot who I was at my essence, I risked losing my footing and being consumed by the experience, I risked becoming determined by it – becoming part of the river.

It’s a difficult paradigm shift for me to make: “I am not my experiences” – I am instead an expression of my Soul Essence and experiences are things for me to expand and evolve within as I pass through them.

Part of my learning this shift is the practice of self-compassion “how would I treat a toddler that was learning to walk?” Would I berate him/her for stumbling, or would I pick them up, encourage and nurture their next teeter totter moment?

This is me – learning how to cross the river, with self-compassion, a knowing of who I am, and a Trust in my Intuition even if I can’t feel it in that precise moment it’s still within me and we will reunite on the other side if I just keep walking.